Selecting your attendants for your wedding can be an easy choice for some but for others, an agony of indecision. If you are planning a small intimate wedding with only the sister of the bride and the brother of the groom in attendance, it couldn’t be simpler.
If however, your dream is to have all of your close personal friends with you at the altar, there are some issues you may face. Cost is one! If the bride wants all of her sorority sisters in the wedding but the groom doesn’t even know that many people he would ask, there’s a potential problem. Some choices need to be made.
It is very likely you will have to make concessions when finalizing your wedding party. Keep these ideas in mind as you complete your choices.
- Before you start naming names, the bride and groom must agree on quantity. Each of them should have a potential list of candidates for attendants. Let’s say your list contains 8 names. If you agree on five attendants each then you each take the top three on each list and slot them in. Next you alternate choices. It doesn’t mean one person gets all his or her top choices, but they each get some.
- Ignore the old formula that said the number of bridesmaids a bride should have was one for every 45-50 guests. Have as many as you can afford without looking like opposing softball teams at the altar.
- If you are searching for a way to let someone know how much you’d like her to be a bridesmaid but can’t – make her an honorary attendant. Ask her to be your personal attendant. Ask her to handle the guest book and be an official hostess. Make sure she has a corsage.
- If you have two best friends and don’t want to decide between them, ask them both to share maid/matron of honor duties. If your older sister is married and your younger sister is not – you have a matron of honor and a maid of honor. The married attendant stands next to the bride during the ceremony and manages her train and veil at the altar and holds her flowers. The maid of honor holds the groom’s ring and any specialized readings, prayers or special ceremonial items. Both of them would give reception speeches. Both would receive special attendant gifts. They can be dressed identically or choose gowns with minor adjustments.